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Sep. 19th, 2008


spacepixie21

The Doll King

I promised I'd have this story up by today, and I worked my butt off last night and today to finish it. As such, it's a humble first/second draft. This is my first time writing in 2nd person and in present tense, so I ask that those who decide to critique this one keep a sharp eye out for anything grammatical. I've caught myself making tense/POV mistakes way too many times to count.

my climax also needs a little more punch, so any suggestions there would be greatly appreciated. have you ever had a story idea that you almost feel you don't yet have the skill to write the way it should be written? That's this story for me, so anything you guys got that could make it better, please, lay it on me. I'd like to send this one out in the near future. Ummm...enjoy?

The Doll KingCollapse )

Sep. 7th, 2008

ostrich riding

lady_puck9999

NOvel?

SO, not to be a freaky nagging anoyance or anything, but I gave a few of you a 3/4 novel a while ago. Have you gotten around to it yet?

Aug. 23rd, 2008

ckret2

Short story intro: I Was A Teenage Supervillainess

It's a working title. And the POV character isn't even the "villain"; she's the villain's BFF.

After writing a story about a vampire who's scared witless of his own meals, the next logical step, obviously, was to write a story about a supervillain who's a silly junior high girl. (Well, okay, at the time of the story they're in ninth grade. Close enough.) The story actually starts some months after the girl with the powers had her stint as a villain; she got powers the summer before 8th grade, used them For Evil sometime during the school year, and has been in juvie since then and now regrets her actions greatly, when she finally gets to return to the normal world just in time to start ninth grade. You know how there are a lot of kids who make one mistake that they wish they could undo for the rest of their lives? Mistakes like get hooked on drugs, have unprotected sex and get pregnant/AIDS, skip school and fail classes in order to be with the boy/girlfriend? This kid's one mistake culminated with an official declaration of a state of emergency in her city.

When she comes back to school, her best friend's first big concern is about whether or not being a villain made her go emo.

These are the first 500-ish words in the story, and I'm not sure I like how it's going. I didn't want to jump into backstory right away (hence there's no explanation yet for what exactly her power is). But here's what I've got so far, and lemme know what you think. The story's about a couple of barely-teen girls which means they've got the dumb immature melodrama issues that comes with the age group, but the gossipy drama's not what the story's about and I can't let them get mired down in that. Plus, that'd be boring.

I Was A Teenage SupervillainessCollapse )
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Aug. 21st, 2008

ostrich riding

lady_puck9999

(no subject)

*sheepish grin*

It's not very long, but its silly and its what Jasmine wanted.

Anyway. Go on. Think badly of me.

Aug. 18th, 2008

ostrich riding

lady_puck9999

Hammond And Algie... do what?

Hokay, so we all love them. But what is their debut novel about?

It takes place in the late 1870's, in England. At some point (maybe in a future novel) they are going to India. But not now, says Cassie. She was firm. But India must happen someday, because I met Algie there. In a dream. He had on a sweet leather coat.

Anyway.

I need some suggestions for CONFLICT CONFLICT CONFLICT!
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Aug. 13th, 2008

you don't not notice that your car is on

elanid

(no subject)

Yes, this is the 2008 Alphan Critiquey thing. Click the join button...link...thing up there. And then you will be joined in marvelous union with, uh, us.

Look, I already wrote the coherent part, what do you expect?

September 2008

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